Deciding Whether to Separate

[brutus3]

Trumpet, oh I only watched the season premier of the Walking Dead. I also watched Vinyl but was disappointed. That's it, I don't watch much tv. I also cleaned the house, worked out, did a lot of drawing. I would have took a run but we had a temp high o -2 yesterday, it's been too damn cold. My Achilles flares up now and then too if I overdo it.

Some days are good, some are bad. I'm still baffled how this all happened. I wake up each morning and it seems unreal that I'm in a different house. That my wife is this different person. I still think it's easier being away from her though.

When we were living in the same house, I was constantly stressed if we were in the same room. Her habit of texting drove me bonkers. I was always trying to assess her mood and looking for any sign of her changing her mind. I'd get angry when she seemed happy and in turn, I'd be delighted if she seemed miserable. It was an unhealthy situation.

The hardest part is not being able to put my daughter to bed and wake her up everyday. When I think about that, my sadness turns to anger. I've been a lousy dad at times, I snap too quickly at her if I'm not feeling strong. I'm trying to get better and recognizing my moods and controlling them when I'm around my daughter.

My daughter is constantly testing me. My wife is much more lax about discipline than me. She lets our daughter eat on the couch or in front of the tv. Gives our daughter a lot of sugar whenever she asks for it. Still gives the poor kid a binky, she'll be 3 in a month. Ugh...