I'm sorry you had a little step back. The status quo is so very frustrating, you're right. I find it hard to deal with too. Nothing seems to be happening one way or another. Good for you having lots of GAL activities with your girls planned to take your mind off that anniversary and dressing up!
Day has gone strange as by mistake I have deleted all the message that STBXH and I have been having for the last year. Impossible to retrieve them, I'm annoyed as I wanted to keep them in case of D as I had written proof from STBXH about him admitting A. On the other hand I believe that it was meant to happen as it's another way to get of this roller coaster!
On another note STBXH didn't come into the house for the second day in a row after he dropped the girls, it feels like he is DB me! I'm done trying to understand him. The funny thing is that he told me who would be looking after the kids while I'm gone to see family at the beginning of the week. He added that he'd be working on Vday ( which I'm a bit skeptical about) and said that he'd be coming earlier on Monday ( the weirdest thing was I told him that I didn't need him that early but he insisted on coming!). The next best thing was that I got two roses bushes from the girls for Vday! We only offered each other something on Vday the first year we were together.
I thanked him for taking the kids out for the day, that I was sorry that he had to work and that him getting two rose bushes from the girls was a gesture that I appreciated a lot.
Thornton is right. Try to not read too much into any one instance involving your husband. He is so lost that even he can't figure himself out. You definitely deserve to get roses and I am happy that someone came through for you. I don't know how the law is there but in Indiana there is very little impact on the divorce from any action of either spouse. I try to rarely re-read a text between STBXW and myself as it only serves to weaken me and to make me sad. I do go back and read posts from you though especially when I need a pick me up! I hope you sleep well Rouky and have a great rest of your weekend.
M:53 W:47 M:15 years. S:18 S's: 30 & 28 from previous marriage. BD: 3/14 Divorced January 17.
Had a good VD with kids, apart from FIL's partner talking about death! Honestly! It left me unsettled as it was on VD that I found out about STBXH's A! The rest of day was good. Saw friends and did a very good spring clean!
STBHX turned up way too much earlier this morning, as I wasn't ready yet. On the other hand he said that he'd b in spare bedroom to finish his night! So he didn't see how good Iooked! Never mind, on my way to see family. I won't be able to check up on you all, please rest assured that I'll be thinking of you all :-)! Please Shotgun behave while I'm gone :-)
Rouky you will never have to worry about me. I'm a good boy! Be safe in your travels and I pray that your family is well. It will be good for you to get away for a few days. Your husband may have missed you looking all hot but next time he will notice. Glad VD went well with the kids. I love you Rouky, have a great day!
M:53 W:47 M:15 years. S:18 S's: 30 & 28 from previous marriage. BD: 3/14 Divorced January 17.
Thank you Shotgun. Was lovely to see my family. I'm concerned about my dad as he looked very tired. Hopefully everything will work out in the end! Didn't get much of GAL as going out, on the other hand saw a lot of my family, so I see it as GAL.
STBXH sent me a text to wish me a safe journey when I left at the beginning of the week, and for some reason I got it today! Still validated. We had a quick exchanges of texts about the house. He isn't happy as our buyer wants to move in July and STBXH can't wait that long as I discovered that he bought a house! I told him that it was me who initially mentioned that month as the house I wanted to buy wasn't ready. Now it has been sold, so no point. STBXH is really annoyed, unfortunately I couldn't care less. Me too I'll be losing the house I have bought! So such is life!
Found out that he only took a day off and the rest of the time kids were looked after by family members! Also had an interesting conversation with step daughter. She told me that STBXH had told her that he was gone because of OW, I did put the truth right that he was seeing her for 2 years before I found out. I also found out that he blamed it in me (nothing new there!). She also told me that she met OW and said she wasn't nice! Step daughter said that she was thinking low of her dad, after finding out about his A she thought even lower of him! She told me that her dad said that he had no intention of buying a house with her, that he didn't like her kids and he didn't want to bring them up as his own. I also found out that he has bought a house which is not even in the same town as OW!
His daughter hadn't that his A won't last and he has no intention to introduce OW to my kids! It was very nice to have that conversation with her as I hadn't seen her for a year. On the other hand, don't believe what they say. TBH it was nice to hear what she said, and at the same time I hugely didn't care about what he did/ said!
I have share in this situation, as of now I have reached the one year BD I can see I'm doing good. Not overly happy, mainly not a constant feeling of sadness! More and more happy days, still a little twist in my heart when I think about my situation, mostly I acknowledge it and carry on with my life. Recently I have this wondering question in my mind: do I still love STBXH? I'm fond of him for sure although after all that happened and one year on I see real growth and strength in me. STBXH is far gone and I can't see any R.
I apologise if there are mistyping as I'm on my phone.
