Thanks for the post.cglad to see we are both still checking it out. Don't lose hope about the commication. Over a beer, I can tell you that I know how everything seemed to go down leading up to this change of WW and it does not seem to have been a good thing at all. In fact, knowing how it finally came to a screeching halt for WW actually shows that her identication of her "selfishness" seems to be because the OM was. It sustainable anymore; not because of the kids, me, MR, etc. whatever it was, I'm just glad it (appears) to have snapped her out of it. Knowing this concerns me as I write this next paragraph.
So, looking back through the last post, the meeting we had is still on my mind. I guess I'm still confused with where I actually stand. We've had more communication via text and email than we every had before which is good. I went to my L the other day (by which she said I did a good job holding firm on my conditions) and in the end said I should sign it and send it back to her L. I said that I wanted W to sign first. I talked to the lawyer about OM and the reasons I pretty much know it is done (well at least WW thinking there is a R with OM) and the L then asked if WW has asked to Reconcile. I said no, she's still pushing things through and then L asked what I would say if so. Not that the L is a counselor, but she knows me enough now to know how I've felt. In all honesty, I'm not sure what I would want. It's a theoretical situation, but I still struggle daily with how my heart and my head feel about it. This all concerns me because 18 months later, I still haven't sorted it out.
With GF, it's still going good; we are really good friends. However, both being LBH's I see that we are starting to be in different phases of recovery and feel different about our sitches now compared to before. See my phase above and for GF, I think she's at the point that she's 'done' with her spouse.
So, I'd say I'm doing much, much better but am at the point that I'm just confused on what 'I' actually want. It's definitely in a place of being okay with whatever the future may hold, just unsure of what that is.
M:36 W:37 T: 15 M:11 S6 D5 BD: 8/10/14 IDLY: 8/12/14 S: 8/13/14 (she left, I stayed w/ kids) D Mentioned: 10/15/14 Confronted about OM: 10/15/14 EA: ~4/13 PA: ~10/13 She filed: 8/15 (not final)
