I wish I had advise to give you. You are such a big help to me and I wish I could reciprocate in some way. This is such a difficult decision and I can understand your reasoning. No matter what you decide, I just hope your health and safety are prioritized. I am sure you have thoroughly researched this.
That being said, I know beautiful vibrant women that are very overweight, who attract many men and are involved in happy relationships. I also know women that are model thin that are unhappy and in unhealthy relationships. I Really believe that it comes from within.
But I also understand the stresses that are placed on women to look a certain way or to be a certain age. I never thought I would have to worry about my appearance again as a married mom in her late 30s and now it terrifies me, so I don't want you to feel that I am simply giving you the old "don't judge a book by its cover line" without really thinking over what you are going through.
I do want you to know that we all have our insecurities though.
Thanks for the support Julie. It is hard one to offer someone support on. I know there are bigger problems in the world than being a fatty. I know it makes me seem like a small minded person, a dependent person, a needy person. My ex was a parapeligic and he felt completely comfortable in his own skin, and here I was complaining about my fat and excess skin. It astounded him I think that I couldn't/wouldn't lose the weight, when he felt it was completely in my control. I just needed to apply myself more, have more discipline and focus and stop taking the easy way out, look Jelly at what I can achieve. Hmmmm I was never going to live up to that was I. All good he now has the woman of her his dreams. A champion body builder. Yes these are the comparisons I make in my head about this. It hurts.
Thanks Julie. I will pop by your thread. I know you are having hard time with being sick and parenting and feeling that H is not intiating and making reconcilation an easier process.
