I totally get where you are coming from. I have always struggled with my weight. Up and down, depending on what was going on. I'm a stress eater, until I get so stressed out that I don't eat and then loose weight too quickly. Sometimes I wonder if I use my weight as a buffer to keep people away. I think I'll have to touch on that with my IC next time.
For now, I would be happy with slow weight loss. I'm eating much healthier, but do indulge in comfort food every once in a while. I love poutine (fries with gravy and cheese curds) and Havarti cheese. Mmmmmh! I have slowly gotten away from the heavy food of my heritage (German and Hungarian). I have cut out alcohol completely, thanks to my liver issues. I eat lots of fruits and vegetables and make sure to take my vitamins and supplements daily. Magnesium is really important, it helps with the absorption all the other supplements and vitamins. If I don't take it for a day I really feel it. I quit smoking in January and a couple of times I got some serious cravings to eat. I seriously wanted to eat non stop for like hours. Thankfully I had stocked up on veggies and fruits that week. Nibbled on carrots, cucumbers, tangerines and bananas the whole day.
It's not easy and I fail over and over, but there is no giving up. This is my life and this is my one and only body. I have to try my best to make it a healthy and happy body. You do what makes you happy!
A friend of mine had the lap band surgery a few years ago. She looks and feels great. She does miss eating big meals some days and most sweets will make her nauseous, but she is happy. Ironic thing is that she is a baker that owns two cupcake shops and made my wedding cake.
Just know JellyB, that inside you is a beautiful person. Bodies change. We get old. We get wrinkly. Things will sag and droop. In the end it's the inside that sustains relationships. I think once we find happiness inside of ourselves, the outside either comes along or it really doesn't matter to us anymore.
Oh and JellyB, I think you are gorgeous anyways!!! Lots of men love us bigger women. Even Sports Illustrated Swimsuit edition had their first plus sized model this year.
Diana
I love that we have our Hungarian blood in common. I am a healthy person, I eat well, I exercise, I don't smoke (never have), and drink alcohol only on special occasions and sleep incrediably well. There is no reason for me to over-weight.
The constant failure is devastating and heart-breaking. I know I need to stop talking in terms like this. It is however my truth. At least for now.
I cannot have a gastric sleeve as the damage done from my gastric lapband means that sleeve is likely to leak as my stomach walls have been thinned and scarred from previous surgeries. My only option is a complete gastric bypass.
Given the outcome of my most recent surgery to remove the lapband it is likely I will not be able to have the gastric bypass by laproscopic surgery, I will likely be required to have a full incision from under my sternum to my belly-button.
This is invasive and the liklihood of complications is very high. Worse case senario is death, then possibly losing the ability to eat orally, and being required to be tube fed and there are also the complications of the upper bowel being nicked and potentially for uncontrolled bowel motions.
The other end of the continuum, is constant nausea and reguritation, and not being able to absorb minerals and vitamins, anaemia is likely.(sorry to be so graphic).
Is the risk of this, worth it. Feeling socially accepted, accepting myself. Feeling I can finally move on, being at peace with something that has been a demon and driven many depressive episodes. Hmmmmmm time will tell I guess.
Thanks for posting Diana. You know I have a huge amount of love and respect for you. Your journey and your overcoming is inspirational.
