Thanks Thornton, thought I may have been the only one dealing with such an odd crazy issue. The one text she did manage to get a response out of me. But despite the first line "thank you for your text and encouraging your daughter to cheat" I did put about my faults in the relationship. Regardless that was my begging and pursuing phase and I have changed since then and sticking with these changes!
Me 41 W 33 M 2013 Suspect A 11/15 Confirm A 1/16 She moved out 2/14/16 Stepson 13 Stepson 16
Yes. Stop looking at their pinterest. Start looking at yourself and what you need to do to have a good life. When i went through my stich I remember reading an email my ex mil sent to my ex. Ex computer was unattended and her email was open so I snopped. It was all about encouring her to go through with her plans to divorce me. So i stopped looking into her stuff. They will think and say things to justify their actions. Nothing you say will change their minds.
Gal my friend
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
Oh god its Valentines day! By coincidence or design, my wife moved out today and in to her new place. I also moved back into my house. I have known this has been coming for the month but it does not hurt any less with the realization she is gone crashing in around me. But I am standing firm GALing and detaching.
This weekend was the end of year tournament for our youngest and my team. My W showed up to both days (which was never in doubt). Her demeanor was not warm nor was it cold. Rather it was ambivalent. She spoke to me a bit but I kept it as casual as possible for a wrestling tournament (I am always stressed when any kid I coach is wrestling and especially mine). I made sure not to attempt to engage her too much in conversation but also was making a conscious effort not to be seen pouting around. Her mood was not as bad as it had been in the past but not as good as it had been either.
So today as she was moving out she just decided to call me. I was expecting she something to say but it was just small talk. I do not really know what to make of it? She did speak of leaving the portable dish washer but really she just wanted to talk. She was even joking around? I have a hard time not sounding depressed but made sure to join in the jokes and make a few of my own. My pursuing side though thought maybe she called to hear me ask her not to leave, tell her I needed her at home. I did not say any of those things but I wander if I should have. If that was the one last chance call. Any advice or thoughts???
Me 41 W 33 M 2013 Suspect A 11/15 Confirm A 1/16 She moved out 2/14/16 Stepson 13 Stepson 16
Thanks Thornton. Its just hard when I feel so sure she is having doubts. Despite her calling me tonight and spending the weekend at the tournament, she brought the boys to come pick up some stuff tonight and would not even come in, so the stuff she wanted she just had them get. Seems like every time she gives me some message she turns around and gives me the exact opposite shortly after. Just proceeding to give her the space she needs. I am hopeful in the not too distant future we can start dating again and do it right this time.
Me 41 W 33 M 2013 Suspect A 11/15 Confirm A 1/16 She moved out 2/14/16 Stepson 13 Stepson 16
Thanks Thornton. Its just hard when I feel so sure she is having doubts. ... Seems like every time she gives me some message she turns around and gives me the exact opposite shortly after. Just proceeding to give her the space she needs. I am hopeful in the not too distant future we can start dating again and do it right this time.
Tim, I could have written those words. I have to tell you, you can expect a roller coaster ride for some time to come. I don't know your whole story, but the indecision will will be very difficult. In my case, just when I get hopeful W backs away again. If I get angry or I back away she comes back to reel me in again. Friday I thought we might actually start to reconcile, then I don't hear from her all weekend. There's an ow in the picture and I can only assume they were together all weekend. I gave her plenty of space as she requested, and ow pretty much filled up that space.
I wish you lots of luck and strength, Tim. Hang in there for the long haul. Or maybe you will be smarter than me and move on and truly get a life. Either way, I wish you well.
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
Thanks for the encouragement NYGal. Unfortunately I am in it for the long haul. While there is part of me that wishes I could say f this I am out of here, that is not my heart. I know this is not a "if I do everything right she will be back next week" and I have some serious work to do and emotions to hide. But I have hope.
NYGal, I wish you the very best of luck! and you have my sincerest sympathies for you sitch.
Me 41 W 33 M 2013 Suspect A 11/15 Confirm A 1/16 She moved out 2/14/16 Stepson 13 Stepson 16
Sorry if I post day to day logs and details about the smallest things. It helps me to process everything and then I can also look back and see if there are small signs of improvement. Guess I should write more in my journal but since I pretty much live on this board it is easier to write here with more accuracy.
Well anyway, I emailed my W the tournament schedule for March for my stepson. Which is not me going out of my way, its what I have always done. Then on the way to practice she calls, here it is just to chat. I managed to be the one to end the call this time, but that is really hard! Then toward the end of practice she just sends me a random text about no one stalking snow shovels. I did not respond as it was not an emergency and we already had the phone call. Just now then at 11:00 she texts again. This times it is about the kids and then the weather. I don't know if she misses me, is doing a temp check or what? But she is being really nice. We have been separated for over a month now (me living in an apartment my friend let me use) and now her out of the house and me back in the house. Guess I will just have to monitor???
Me 41 W 33 M 2013 Suspect A 11/15 Confirm A 1/16 She moved out 2/14/16 Stepson 13 Stepson 16
Monitor scmonitor... If you pay too much attention to her, you will go nuts. She's got her thing going on, her fog is pierced by a ray of reality from time to time and she is trying to control you. She is trying to make you stay put and be her plan B.
In her mind it is her time to be happy now and you f....d up her happiness and now she is going to paint the town red and just in case her thing does not pan out, she is keeping you as a plan B. She does not give a hoot about you ans you really should stop (over)analyzing everything she says/does, because there is no sense to be made.
