T0324, I just came across something from your story that illustrates my struggle to stay on course to a tee:
"That's what I struggle with is how to stay dark but bring him closer because I feel like I am so cold to him - giving him just yes no or okay answers."
How did you do this and and stay consistent when all you wanted was him to communicate with you and show you some respect?
"Be messy and complicated and afraid and show up anyways."
