[BrightFuture]

Looking through my last post... Oh, boy… typing errors everywhere, including the Super Bowl, LOL.

I went to a happy hour with a couple of friends from work on Friday. The b-day party at my sister’s was cancelled because they all were sick. I was not feeling well as well. Not a flu or a cold, but I just had no energy.

Today I did some yard work and other errands around the house. I finally cut a tree that I wanted to cut a long time ago. It was bothering me for quite some time. It grew from a seed. It started about three years ago. It also grown right outside of my fence and technically on the neighbor’s property (well, they don’t maintain it, since it is up on the hill.) First I thought it was a weed, then it started looking like a small tree. Then it started growing some kind berries on the ends of the branches. It is kind of a junk tree. I watched it grow, thinking that I would cut it on one of these weekends when I do a yard work. I never got to it. It grew big. The good part it that it is very soft wood. So, I cut it today with the pruners and then with the saw. I feel so much better knowing that it is gone!


Job, thank you for your response. I do think and feel that H doesn’t want to cut the last ties. I’m just not sure why. Yes, part of it might be that he trusts me so much to take care of business (“mom”, LOL) and he doesn’t want to do it himself. But… He did research on car insurance last year… and he did check on XM radio fees… he could have just switched over to his own accounts as easily. I have a suspicion that he did this because he wanted to “prove” to himself that he is truly moved on and needs to have the separate accounts (hence going to the extent of searching for the deals.) But… staying on the same policies with me is a better deal. This is his excuse. Like I mentioned before, if someone wanted so badly to get rid of everything in connection with the former spouse (me), paying a couple of hundred dollars a year would not matter.

How do I feel about him relying on me for this stuff? It doesn’t matter that much (yes, I do get angry once in a while, LOL), I take care of all this stuff anyway, for me. Here are things that we still have together:
- Car insurance. There are two “extra” things that I do because he is on the same policy. I ask him about the mileage on his cars and then notify him about his portion to pay – once a year. Then obviously I send him the cards, which I do with the rest of his mail anyway. So, not too much extra work on my part.
- XM radio. It used to be renewed every two years, but they don’t give a long term discount anymore. I would call about my radio anyway, so I just negotiate for both. This was supposed be yearly. So, I get the price and then notify him about his portion.
- AAA membership. This is easy. I get the bill and notify him how much his share is.
- Condo mortgage. Well, this one I don’t want to separate until we agree on the division of assets. He transfers the money, I pay the bill.
- Joint business and company books. Same thing. I use the company to do some consulting work on the side. I keep the books and do the taxes. I would do it anyway for my part of the business. At this point, I prefer it this way. I don’t trust H to do it, because I think he would forget things and we would have to pay some penalties and fees.
- Some of his mail still comes to my house. I forward it to him when I feel like it and when I have time. Unless there is something important, like his driver’s license. Well it doesn’t happen too often, LOL.
- Joint bank account. I don’t use it on the regular basis, neither does he. I keep it open because this is a convenient way for him to transfer the money for the condo mortgage. This is all it is.

Wow, after I typed this, I realized that we are still connected in so many ways. Again, I give him a way out every time I send him a note about one of these joint accounts’ renewals. And every time he chooses to pay me the money to stay on the policies and accounts.

Also, he is always very diligent about transferring the money to me. So, I don’t worry that I have to pay for his portion on anything.

I was recently reading on Pink’s thread that people were advising her on her xh’s stuff that is still in her house (garage). The predominant opinion was not to make him take his stuff, because it would be essentially telling him that the door is closed and there is no way back. It think that I have similar thoughts when I think about all these joint stuff with H. I want HIM to make the decisions on separating things. At least for now, this is how I feel. I know that my circumstances are different… H hasn’t being in contact every day… But, if I think about it, he’s been in contact often enough to keep reminding me about his existence, LOL. I hope it makes sense. I'm totally not a good writer...

So, for now, I’m going to keep doing what I’ve been doing in regards to the joint stuff. Will see how I feel in a few months…

Anyway, this is all boring stuff, compared to other threads. I just feel so awkward sometimes for even posting this. I should be on the other side of the fence by now.