I know this doesn't help with "togetherness" for you and your W but it's her b-day. Pick something she wants. How about a night out for her with a few of her girlfriends on you? Last year for my GF's 40, her husband rented a limo, made dinner reservations, and got movie tickets for her and her 3 best friends, all at his expense, and he watched their 7 (yes 7) kids. We had a blast and from what she told us the next day he had a great time when she returned home that night. Sometimes women just need to be with their girlfriends especially at B-day time after you hit 40.
