When the goal is positivity

[JulieH]

Fo, that last "conversation" we had in which husband just yelled at me because of my new coats and for taking him to court, and for bringing my dad to court with me (he brought mommy, I have no idea why he is mad at this) and for me being verbally abusive made me have flashbacks of marriage counseling a year ago.

It's frustrating having someone yell at me for things that are irrational. It reminds me of my abusive boyfriend in colege that would yell at me for having affair with my female roommate or having crush on my brother. Because it is so irrational I don't know how to defend myself.

I don't have much faith. Based on our last conversation, he thought I was out of my mind for bringing up reconciliation. I am thinking he is delaying and stringing me along because of finances. He probably only brought up reconciliation before court date so I would not ask for alimony. He's probably just pretending to want reconciliation so he can get me back to work full time as ultimatum.

I am starting to wonder how much of this is false hope. He does not want me back bad enough, so I will not be treated well.
He is talking about reconciliation and how we would handle divorce so I am not confident. At the very best I will be subjected to walking on egg shells again.