Sandi's Reflections

[sandi2]

So, let me calm down and get back to what a nice-guy should do when he
is faced with a WW.  There are three areas, at least, that I have seen
these wayward wives have in common.  First comes resentment, and
there's no telling how many years it has been building.  The H can't
do very much about how she feels toward things that has happened in
the past.  All he can do is deal with the things in the present, and
if he is aware of issues that cause her resentment.....and if he is
causing it, then he can work to correct it.  Just one example, (and
we'll say this started before her waywardness)............ it may be
the way his family treats his wife.  She may feel that he does not
defend her to his family.  It hurts her that he won't speak up to
them, and he takes the passive way out.  So, the resentment begins.
Then as other things happens that she see as him not taking proper
action, it adds more resentment to what's already there.  If he would
just stand up to his family one time, it could desolve those hurt
feelings she's pushed down, but he doesn't, so she keeps pushing it
down and the resentment turns to bitterness.  If he would listen
carefully, it would show in her conversations.  She may take a jab
about his family, or him, but he just lets it roll off his back and
decides it's not worth causes waves and he'll stay quiet and it will
keep the peace.

The second area that WW's have in common is disrespect for the H.  In
her mind, he has failed at being the kind of man he should be.  Maybe
he has allowed his neighbor to bully him, or friends to take
advantage, or maybe he can't keep a job.  Perhaps he has mismanaged
the finances and now they are in terrible debt.  He might be the kind
of man who is full of a lot of ideas or dreams, but he never puts them
into action.  People on the outside see her husband as being a really
nice guy.  Other women even assume they must have a great MR just b/c
they see her H is so.......nice.  And she thinks to herself,
"If only they knew what I have to put up with, I bet they would change
their opinion".  She is angry and keep pushing it down in her heart,
trying to keep going.  But she loses her respect for him, little by
little.

Continued on next post.