Hi TD! I went to read your stuff, looks like you haven't posted in awhile, hopefully that's a good thing. Did you resolve things w/ your dog? Giving up the cat H and I had was a big thing for me in our D. Ultimately I decided the cat liked H better, so it made sense for her to stay with him... and I adopted my own cat. And then in December I got a second cat (which, I am sort of regretting now because they have been challenging together. XBF loves cats and at the time he was having so much fun entertaining my first cat I apparently thought it would be good to have another one and I started seeing us as a family...poor foresight on my part).
That's why it's good to come here, to have some outside perspective I mean, there are things I think I could have done differently that I'm beating myself up for right now. Like, maybe we should have had some of these intense conversations on the phone or in person instead of via texting, maybe I could have questioned him less and kept working on GAL and having my own life so that I didn't really care what he was up to. I'm getting feedback from other sources that I was expecting too much for him to elaborate on being "busy" at the six month mark and that if we couldn't see each other for a whole week, so be it, people have their own lives, and that I was being "too inquisitive" for someone who needed to ease into a relationship. Which is sort of tearing me up because it gets me stuck on this "if only I hadn't done X.." even though I know that one action or question shouldn't have been enough to ruin a good relationship.
Me:30 H:29, no kids T:12, M:4 (when D was final) 12/13: "Don't think I want to be M anymore" 6/14: Separated (I move) 1/15: H filed for D 5/15: D final
I mean, there are things I think I could have done differently that I'm beating myself up for right now. Like, maybe we should have had some of these intense conversations on the phone or in person instead of via texting, maybe I could have questioned him less and kept working on GAL and having my own life so that I didn't really care what he was up to. I'm getting feedback from other sources that I was expecting too much for him to elaborate on being "busy" at the six month mark and that if we couldn't see each other for a whole week, so be it, people have their own lives, and that I was being "too inquisitive" for someone who needed to ease into a relationship. Which is sort of tearing me up because it gets me stuck on this "if only I hadn't done X.." even though I know that one action or question shouldn't have been enough to ruin a good relationship.
