Starting R talks, asking her to give up EA, talking about how you won't play family with her if she doesn't, wanting to snap her out of it with filing D...all controlling behavior, and none of it has anything to do with DB. And it doesn't follow the principle of showing with actions, not words.
I told you to slow down and learn to accept some limbo and you are trying to force through this like you're evacuating a burning building. When I say you are allowing your emotions to control you I mean that you are so uncomfortable in your sitch you are doing incredibly destructive things that will impact your family for the rest of your life in an effort to change the sitch and change how you feel. Meanwhile you write this as if you're doing it from a place of higher awareness. And anyone that dares challenge that is told not to post again.
Talk about biting the hand that feeds you. Seriously, Azzork came on here trying to give you tools to save your marriage and you literally threw them back in his face and told him to buzz off. I am pretty sick about that. But I get it. You are hurt and following DB is too tough for you. If standing by your M is too painful then go ahead and end it your way. If you really want to save it though I'd recommend you reread Sandi's 37 rules, Azzorks post, and consider that you might not be the exception to all of the rules. There are reasons R talks, pressure, asking for reassurances, ultimatums, and this type of thing don't work in rebuilding a marriage. It is more of the same behavior that she wants nothing to do with. Learn a better way if you want to save the M.
I'm sorry but not sure who Azzorks is, if your talking about TXHubby his advice was to stop being passive the opposite of what the DB couch said to do. I also go advise by sande2 who said that playing family is good.
It does sound controlling that I told her to end the EA, while we are being together going out as a family she is happy with that, when we are sitting down having a conversation she is happy. At the end of the day she is back in the Fantasy of the EA. She is having the two worlds mean wile I'm being destroyed.
