I'm curious about something - has she put anything in writing about reconciling, regretting the A, her concerns about the OW, feeling confused, etc.? Or is it all verbal?
M 16 yrs, WH62, P54 3 adult blended kids EA 11/13, BD1 6/14 PA fall 14, BD2 2/15 Piecing 2015, BD3 12/15 Separated 4/16 WH moved OW in 5/16 Divorced 6/15/17
Hi NYGal, just catching up on your thread as I've not been on here the last few days. What a turn up for the books W saying all this! You've had some great advice from Wonka and I totally agree with her. Don't give in too easily and you definitely need to see that letter of NC to OW first too. I made this mistake when my H came back 9 years ago. Was just so pleased to have him back I didn't insist on anything and a few years later discovered he'd never stopped contact with OW, now I'm here again trying to rescue my M. Good luck though, I'm rooting for you!
No, nothing in writing yet! I have to be patient. It feels like now that she has said some of the things she has said, she has to either dump ow or I'm out of the picture. She knows that, so the ball is in her court. I'm ok with giving her time because I've learned I can't rush her with any decision. And as long as I know where she (says she) feels, I'm in a good frame of mind where I feel I have some choices and therefore some power. If she still can't tell ow it's over then I know I have to move on even more deliberately. Of course I'm hoping for R. If she chooses ow over me I will be devastated all over again. That's why pulling back now is a good plan for me.
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
My mind is working overtime and filling in the blanks. W said she was "alone" last week and now I'm thinking she and ow took a break. But I've heard nothing from W since Friday. I know her so well and that she hates to be alone. What if it was ow who skillfully pulled back only to reaffirm her "love" and it's they who have reconciled, not us? I can anticipate that now I have to renew my patience skills and just stay away. W must know I'm stewing about this. If she doesn't reach out, she must have made her choice. Again. I'm very tempted to ask her. Were you just playing me?
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
as soon as you ask you have started yourself over again, and most likely you will cry and get in relationship talk from previous experience, then you will be left in the same place.
but fresher for you to spin and stew over.
Do you want to keep ripping the scab off the wound?
M 37 W 34
T 12 M 8 D 7 S 4
Need break 4/12/15 W no ring 7/7/15
Separate room 4/12/15 Separate living suggested 8/15 W moved out 11/1/15
My mind is working overtime and filling in the blanks. W said she was "alone" last week and now I'm thinking she and ow took a break. But I've heard nothing from W since Friday. I know her so well and that she hates to be alone. What if it was ow who skillfully pulled back only to reaffirm her "love" and it's they who have reconciled, not us? I can anticipate that now I have to renew my patience skills and just stay away. W must know I'm stewing about this. If she doesn't reach out, she must have made her choice. Again. I'm very tempted to ask her. Were you just playing me?
Really no point in all this over-thinking. It'll just drive you crazy. Call the cute friend and go have fun.
