Hi Mutatio, I'm sorry you are feeling low my friend. I always appreciate your kindness and wisdom on the forum and hate to read of you feeling so miserable.

Can I ask a question? Given all present circumstances, what do you need to do in order to find inner peace and happiness for yourself? Truly, you can decide and begin to work towards that 'life' for yourself today. Imagine if your W were not going to be in that life. What would it look like? Where would you be? What would you be doing? Who with? How would you feel?

I strongly believe there is a happy life for us all beyond (or even within) our current situations. However, we need to set a course and make a start towards it. I hope you will see this and start taking whatever first steps you need towards a happy life for yourself.

We are all here for you and I would encourage you to keep posting, but perhaps a change of direction is needed??

Take care xx

T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus