Thanks for checking in broke and Flight. To your point Flight, I have definitely come to terms with the reality that maybe he didnt make a mistake and this is what he wants. I've asked for grace to move through this situation either way, and I believe I've already received it. But isnt standing hoping and having faith in the best and prepping for the worst?
Is it so terrible to reach out for guidance and direction on all of this instead of just letting my M fall by the wayside like old garbage? H made decisions out of fear and emotion and yes, he may be attached to those decisions but why is it terrible to hope? Is that not what most of us are here seeking support for? For awhile, I did avoid reality, and now reality is beating me over the head and I absolutely hate it but all I can do is look out for myself at this point.
Some ppl say, "It isn't over until you give up," and others say, "This is the reality, get over it, move on, etc." I have been working on 180 and its very hard, even after 7 mos. We still have things together but no, I don't bet my life on it. All i can do is GAL and though it takes two to tango, I'm not giving up. I'm learning that I'm fine with or without him, but I also feel like he enhances me. I'm sitting here on our couch laughing about something we find hysterical and feeling just confused. I just want to run so far away from all of this. I just want to wake up from this one morning and have H pull me closer to him and make my heart warm.
"Be messy and complicated and afraid and show up anyways."
