So, really don't understand the complete lack of emotions from W. She seems to be fine with this state of limbo and is in positive mood for the most part when I see her, but we don't talk about anything R related. Is this a normal stage for WW? Hard to validate when I do not get the chance. At first there were little signs that she cared IMHO, she would do little things around the house and sometimes even stuff for me. Now she doesn't really do anything. I am really thinking that I need to show some tough love. I am thinking about telling her the below. I would really appreciate any advice or as Squiggy says a 2x4 to the head.
W,
I do want this M to be restored and this is not what I wanted. I however; can no longer facilitate in any way your R with OM. There will no longer be internet access for you to use in this house ( I will get a 4G hotspot so I can still work from home when needed and post here, but she won't be aware of that). I will also be cancelling your cell phone as this is a major means of your communication with OM. Since you have chosen not to live here and be a part of this family, I you will also need you to remove the remainder of your belongings from MH. I will be putting S6 in school and S4 daycare during the day, so you will no longer need to be in MH during the day. This will allow you the time necessary to find a job and provide for yourself as I will no longer be paying for your personal needs. Due to your addiction to game and 15+ hour days of gaming including into early mornings and sleep schedule, the kids will remain here with me as custodian and I will provide for their needs. You will have time with them wed. after school until 8 pm and every other weekend they will stay with you.
I doubt this will end her R with OM or addiction to game and know that this will probably expedite papers (S or D ) tbd, but I think that I need to set this boundary and assert myself as a M to her (another 180). It hasn't even been two months since S, but she is increasing her time and interactions with OM at an exponential rate since S. She has even spoken to him on speaker phone with playing in game during day in front of our children and tells him she loves him. This helped me get past denial and I find completely unexceptable for her to lay in our MRB and talk with this creep.
I don't think the custody stuff will go over very well, but I know it is what is best for the kids as they sleep on an air mattress when W/ her and they need stability in there life. If it comes down to it, I would rather spend all the $$ in savings and 401K even if I lose just so she has to spend her 1/2. I am young, in top 5%55 tax bracket and will be fine even with support payments. To be honest, I think I will have more $$ to spend on myself not having to finance her passions any longer.
I also now have the OM name and phone number, and have found him on FB (young and single unfortunately). I want to confront this guy, I would love thoughts on this. Probably a complete waste of time and something tells me not constructive but I really really want to. Good thing I stopped drinking recently or I probably would have already. I have some choice words for him..something along the lines of, I now know who you are -insert full name- and you are no longer just some character in a game. If you don't disappear there will be repercussions. I wouldn't mind spending some cash on an attorney (unfortunately not an alienation of affection state) to come up with some civil suits just to make his life hell. i know i wouldn't win, but the dude works at a freaking gas station so it would drain him financially. Spiteful maybe, gratifying absolutely. When you mess with a mans family he has nothing left to lose ( i know this is really on her and not him).
