Red, first congrats on the fun time you allowed yourself. Gave your kids the fun time and joy they deserve at their age.
You are a brilliant, fun and lovable person. You are not the one with issues, insecurities.
Your H is somewhat jealous to see that you are strong even when dealing with all his mess.
I told you to hold your horses because he will react to your changes, he is seeing you doing it all without him and it may bother him.
He still thinks about the complaining, nagging, low self steem, drag clothing. His time line is not very clear for him. He is not getting why all the sudden you changed so much and is this woman he fell in love in the first place.
He is like: OMG! What do I do? What is going on here?
Maybe I will push her bottoms and see if the old b** is still there. Maybe I will do something just to make sure she is there in case I change my mind about this whole mess.
Now, it's all about him and you being so independent bothers him a lot.
I think he still loves you. He is just very mixed up at the moment. Maybe has or had some EA and tough he would be better off without the boring woman he had beside him. Now you change and he is completely lost.
That's why Detachment makes you attractive.
That's why patience will give him time to digest what is happening right before his eyes.
That's why Detachment will give you the confidence you need, the power to get back to your own self, to determine what is important in your life, even if it is all about your family, your M and the man you chose to love. It helps you to stand strong behind your choices and be OK with it even when someone says you are wasting your time.
Reg the family gatherings. I came to peace with it and accept that my XH's family loves me just because who I am, so I won't cut the R with them and won't stop visiting and even joining them for parties. For me, it will only stop if at some point there is AP beside my XH and they will be at the gatherings. Then I won't join them.
I already made plans with my XH's family forthe summer, when I will visit them when a new baby is coming on board. If XH has any issue with this then it is his problem not mine.
Think that if you stay together you won't have any family hard feelings to deal with.
Red, I love that you are keeping your boundaries (much better than I did), and in the same time treating your husband with compassion and validating him, his feelings.
Look at you, before being mad with his absurd move on you, you tough about him working 4 nights. That is love. Not reacting to a grumpy grandpa looking for his glasses that are on top of his head.
Keep the good work Red. It is hard at some times, but we know that war is a hard issue to deal with.
You are fighting for your l8fe, M, F and the man you love.
My twin sista, and by the way, I love the ocean and you are very close to it.
