hi MB ive bounced back, I had a bit of a moment thinking and wondering why she could make an effort to date but not to make us a better couple.
its easy to be the new guy and fun dating without the bogging down of real life, I still like micheles tweet about people being a package deal with their own faults.
sometimes I wonder if she will wake up and regret things, I really loved her I was loyal,faithful, committeed to improving things and having a better marriage
I can see that I only upset myself yesterday thinking of things I can not change or control.
I still think we could have resolved a lot of issues with forgiveness and communication & making each other a priority.
I'm going to remain standing and open, I'm not going to pursue her, I think if divorce papers come my way then I can only accept that and let her go in a loving way
with the counselling we talk about my behaviour and setting boundaries or challenging bad behaviour I can see I contributed by engaging in txt messaging and not stating that txts are not an appropriate form of communication I can see that name calling and bullying should have been challenged I can see that when I could see arguments arising I should have left the house or asked to deal with it later when things were calmer
like you before marriage she was the best partner and friend the longer the marriage the more everything was my fault, it was my fault she married me and she racked up credit card debt. if she raged/spewed at me i asked for it.
like other posters my counsellor having read txts and emails and my dairy has come back with she could be depressed, BPD or NPD and that until she gets help or fixes herself i cant do anymore
the part that makes me see light at the end of the tunnel is a lot of people are telling me i seem happier and more easy going and ive lost weight looking better and my body language is a lot better.
I'm not really great at writing or expressing myself. i put a post on my thread if you want to read.im aiming to emerge a better man.
zues keep posting your inspring me, that we can become better people that only a fool would let go!
