2016 a New Year - getting out of my own fog

[Irish M]

I was so sad to read about MIL's treatment of your girls. Such an awful thing to do to your own grandchildren! The more I read on these forums the more I sit in disbelief at the way some people treat others.

Hi Inpain, thanks for the support on my sitch. I agree with you 100%. How can people treat others like this for their own selfish needs. I know my STBXW is not well and exMIL caused it with her own MLC. It's clear exMIL needs as much help with her own demons as does my STBXW. same DNA same pattern.

I was not very authentic with my xh..I played along for the first 2 years..
we became friendly but it was all fake and on his terms and about him
still in the end,,,he left to find himself,,not sure if he did
and as I look back his actual leaving was for the best-
and
I found myself

Hi Peace, I am finding myself too. I truly believe my STBXW`s MLC caused me to lose myself. It all started a year or more ago. I was lost. Stopped living my life. In a fog like zombie state. Now I see so many things so clearly about myself and my needs. My D`s are the same. We talk each night about our day and as time goes on there is no mention of STBXW. We are detached. It`s been only 7.5 months and I think we hit a low spot and miss her only when she does something to upset us. Not seeing her is so much healthier on us all. She needs to find herself. We know who we are.

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It`s valentines day here tomorrow. I did celebrate it with STBXW each year and it was wonderful. A walk in the park, dinner for 2, wine and chocolate, either a visit to the spa or a weekend getaway.

I always thought of Valentines day as a commercial holiday more than a lovers day anyway. My future relationship it will be valentines day every day, just as it was with my STBXW. I NEVER needed a hallmark card to tell someone I love them. I`d send flowers to STBXW just to say hi, I love you and thinking of you.

Is it going to hurt tomorrow waking up alone. Not one bit. Because STBXW right now isn`t the person I`d want to wake up to anyway. I`ll make a huge pancake breakfast with the D`s and make it a netflix day.

Irish