May your journey be

[Vanilla]

At the moment I understand the tiredness thing Gg.

It is very hard thing to overcome.

There is physically tired and weary. I don't see how rest can overcome weary (emotionally tired). I spoke to my confessor during the week, I guess these are the old equivalent of IC. He told me to turn the other cheek and keep on doing it.

I told him I was battered and bruised by this , he said the meek shall inherit the land and you know that means gods kingdom. And then that's also here on earth now, just let WH be he will wear himself to a frazzle. Be still and just let him do as he will.

There is evil here and this evil will turn inwards. WH is not a God fearing man and has expressed few spiritual beliefs. They are his beliefs, does he really believe women, religious people, those who prefer the same sex and those who are non white are inferior to him? As he has no economic power does that matter?

I seek the answers in my heart, how could I chose a man like this, so destructive and damaged and how well he hid it. Or did I choose to ignore it?

How could I love this man and why do I still stand. You know I stand for the values in M, I made a vow and I want to stand by that.

I believe the WH that I thought I loved does not exist, so why does my heart still stand? I don't want WH back in my life and I am stuck. I can not date until D. H2 was different I let him go willingly as he was unsure of his preferences and he did not abuse me. H2 was an absolute gentleman and we finished our R so he could continue his journey to self. Our D was fair and no acrimony, we agreed 50:50 slightly unfair to V and that did not matter in the slightest. We cooperated in a business way. He had ethics. This WH has few at least I see none.

I reread my Gg thread again and I observed you had similar dichotomy believing in R and yet knowing your WH had hit your S15 (at the time).

Tons of love and hugs

V