I understand what your saying and I've felt the same at times. Weight is one of those things that can feel like a barrier to overcome to fix our other problems. I know everyone says we can be any size and be happy and that we should be happy. I'm not sure I can offer any advice as what to do, I want my weight off also but there are days where I accept it where its at also.
Just know you are a beautiful, gorgeous woman and have so much more going on for you that weight should not be important. The know the whole "beautiful on the inside" only goes so far to our self-esteem and doesn't feel like its as important as whats on the outside but know it is MORE important than the outside. Sure, it would be nice to have both that way but even if they were it wouldn't be a solution to our other problems.
Sorry I don't have anything better to say, just wanted you to know I do care and understand those feelings also.
Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be
