KGirl - new life, new stuff

[Sotto]

Hi KGirl, I'm sorry you're having a tough time. One thing I noticed at my DRW was that people often started dating, when perhaps it was too soon for them. The new R didn't work out and they then really started to process the whole thing - end of the M, the recent break up and so on. It isn't easy, but it is needed I think.

DRW means divorce recovery workshop and I found this really helpful. There are also rebuilding seminars and I wonder if you might benefit from attending one? Maybe google them both to see what is happening in your area?

I would second Mozza on the Codependent no more book. I'm reading that atm and it popped into my head when reading your stuff above. A theme to explore would be why your recent BF appealed to you (ie: what need in you he seemed to meet) and why you would accept a 'lesser than' R with him (no ILYs and so on.)

I think the biggest thing for me to look for in a new partner going forwards is emotional maturity. I'm working on this within myself and would hope to meet someone that is doing or has done the same.

Can I also suggest you have a look at the TED talks and/or books by Brene Brown? She is helpful on the 'am I enough' theme.

In a way KGirl (whilst I know it hurts) I think it is good you are back here and in time to come I think you may look back on this time and see - yes, I really needed that.

Do keep posting my friend and take care xx