If you're making conclusions beyond today then you're looking too far ahead. I know you're in pain and want it over, but now is not a wise time to start reacting to pain. Slow down. The urge to figure it all out or convince yourself you have it figured out isn't helping. Just admit that you're lost and hurt, deal with it, and then get through your days with character. That's your job. Stray from that path and you'll cause more damage.
I'm sorry but do not get what your saying, I'm lost and hurt. My wife is currently at her mom's with the kids "kids wanted to spend time with grandma". I just don't know what to do, she wants to be friends only and still live in the house living her EA. I really want our marriage to work but can not keep hurting and what seems to be a lie, perhaps things would had gotten better but having a wife that has hide a 2yr AE very well it's hard to know what is real and what it's not. The counselor ask her if she was just using me right now until she could get out and her reply "Yes", I'm also thinking that she might be saying that just to hurt me. Her mom has even told me today I can't believe how you can put up with her.
