Time for a new direction

[mleigh4]

Kyh, I am so happy to hear you had a good talk with your W! So happy to help.

Bttrfly, H also shuts down upon confrontation. He and his mother are very alike, I can see where he gets many of his traits from. I realize that MIL has had to do a lot of stepping in with her children, grandchildren and great grandchildren. She has had one daughter choose drugs over her 3 children, and one of those grandchildren have 3 children before 20, on welfare. She has mentioned another grandchild possibly being in danger by living with her mom having shady people over. I think MIL is used to having to parent children within her family, what she needs to realize is just because her son is off in la la land, I am not. She also needs to understand that I don't have a very big trust and comfort level with her, for my own reasons, and that needs to be respected. Thank you for your input!

Well, this has been an insane crazy week for me, lots happening! I will try to keep it short.

Monday morning I get TM from H. He wants to come on trip with S and I, but has an important meeting on Tuesday. He suggests flying out to meet up with us after, but doesn't want to mess up anything we have planned. I respond that would work, we could do safari park on Wed, and he could drive back with us on Thursday? He got very excited, said that works perfect, and put in his vacation request. That night I dropped off S with him and rushed back to work for after hours office meeting, with wine and appetizers. It was actually fun!

Wed I had 2nd termite inspection done and got a much better result! I let H know with TM. He replied right away that it sounds great and also let me know his flight is booked and gave me the information.

I cut the cord on cable and am enjoying my new tv life of streaming. So far so good!

I talked with S about Grammy day on Thursday, he said he would prefer hanging out with me at work any day. I let H and MIL know I would be picking him up and that he would be with me, and let H know I would drive him over for his night. MIL responded ok. BTW, she never responded to my email reply to her. I just needed a break from her this week. Hopefully we can work this out. She has a couple of S free weeks to think about it.

I drove S to H and we chatted over everything, the trip, S school things, his new work truck, cutting cable....it was a good drop off. He has not said one word about MIL. He either doesn't know or doesn't care?

So, I am liking the friendship level H and I have reached. It feels very real. I am also a bit surprised he is actually flying out to join us! That is a huge effort on his part, something I needed to see. I catch myself, letting my mind wonder if this means something, but I am then able to reground myself. I am taking this for what it is, enjoying the moment, the NOW. I don't want to wonder what the future holds, what it means. I want to keep enjoying my life the way it is right now. I have been given the gift of time and space, a nice taste of freedom, and I am liking it! I can't forget that.

My mom called me at work this week and I took the call. She apologized, cried about how much she misses me. Sadly, I just feel nothing! But I told her I needed some space and that if we can both accept each other for who we are and what we can give, everything would be fine. I unblocked her and so far so good.

Another interesting turn, my BFF just got hired as CFO at H work. I wonder how he feels about that!? I will be totally honest, because I can do that here without sounding crazy. I have always wondered if there was someone at work with H, a possible secret OW. Well, I may finally get that answer! I will now know if his business trip during his birthday is really that. I will now know if he has a date for his upcoming annual work party. I will know a lot! Can you see a big smile over here? Funny how things work out, isn't it? Well, hopefully there is nothing to find out and H and I can continue to rebuild our friendship. Today is the 16 year anniversary of when H and I fell in love.

S and I head to Socal on Monday. We pick up H at the San Diego airport on Wednesday morning. It should be a fun trip! Weather looks to be gorgeous.

I really need to catch up on some posts this weekend. I hope you are all doing well!