Thoughts on her getting closure or telling the guy its done and if I should be in on that call or all 4 people in on the call?
I see there being another conversation at some point. Can I ask my wife if there has been that talk?
She told me today for the first time ever that she is so sorry for Fn up our lives. She said she feels sick about all the problems she has caused.
You're considering reconciliation with this woman. In that respect, you have a right to know her status. If she has any contact whatsoever with an OM then there is zero point to going forward from there. In that case you continue to 180, detach, etc. I was like you, I finally had enough and filed. I wasn't as smart as you, however. I took over 2 years to get there. I swear that shaved 20 years off my life. It was emotional hell. You're getting that faster which is healthier for you. I know you love her and want her but you don't need her. Yes, it's not breaking any rules to know the situation of a person you're considering reconciling with. In a real and honest relationship there are no secrets. If you and she start to R and she's having any contact with OM then that's a secret and R is doomed to failure and you wasted a lot of time that you could have spent getting on with your life.
