So is checking phone records and having email passwords being detached or do you just not care about that stuff?
I guess it depends where you are. In a marriage there is no privacy except in the bathroom when going #2. That's it. Phones are open to each other, computers, whatever. You're not two single private people sharing a house. You're a married couple. One thing that will alleviate future conflict is talking out the definition of marriage. Would she be happy if you kept your phone private and were texting available women? Of course not. There is no privacy in marriage.
With that said, what I did when my wife offered for me to snoop as much as I wanted is to tell her that if I truly believe that I need to snoop then I'm gone. Once I decided to R with her I had to go all in. 100%. That meant trust and no snooping. Of course the caveat to her is there will be ZERO second chance. This is it. You get one stay of execution. The smallest infraction, one secret lunch with a male that you don't tell me about, flirty texts, ANYTHING LIKE THAT AT ALL and I'm gone. The reason it's effective is because now she truly believes that. She didn't until I filed for divorce and went out to lunch with a woman who admitted to me she was waiting out my marriage to finish falling apart and then wanted to date me. I know the conventional wisdom here is that I was a bad boy but it was great. First, it showed my wife that I was truly moving on from her. Second, to spend time with a woman that actually wants to spend time with you and there is mutual attraction? Oh man, that felt SO GOOD.
So for me if I'm in a relationship where I think I need to snoop then I'm leaving that relationship. Life is too short to live like that. I hope that's helpful.
