I am trying to make today a wonderful day. I did my nails and my hair today. I have been putting it off but finally did it.
I spent the day at D5 preschool with S3 for her school party. I got to laugh and play and actually feel good. It has been too long since I had a simple but good day. I took lots of photos so if H calls I can tell him all the funny stories and maybe tell him I took photos and I'll show him next time I see him or something.
H asked to keep the kids overnight on sunday and he will come over saturday night for a few hours as well. I am preparing myself to spend all V day absolutely alone, I'm trying to think of something to do with myself to try to make it a great day. I do not know he wanta them so bad on Vday. Maybe tl show me he has no plans and will going no where. Maybe to make sure I am absolutely alone. Maybe so HE isnt home alone. WHO KNOWS but I'm trying to not think about it.
I made plans with the kids to go out breakfast and then go to this kids valentines event tomorrow. I really am looking forward to that. I will have lots of fun things to tell H about. Im GAL and BRINGING THE KIDS. I FINALLY realized GAL doesnt just have to be me going out at night with the girls to drink or whatever.
GAL can be taking the kids to the zoo, getting breakfast with a friend, taking my kids places. WAY more fun for me and involves my favorite little people. I think this will be good.
I might take myself somewhere different for valentines day. Maybe go see a movie alone-how to be single is out and that looks funny. Maybe go get a pedicure, go shopping, celebrate that I am a fabulous person.
I had a guy (gorgeous 34ys old firefighter) ask me out today. He gave me his work schedule for a month, asked me if those days didnt work he would change his schedule and switch days. He is currently going threw a divorce and its how we bonded at a family christmas party in january. I do not really know him much besides he is very nice to me and thinks I'm gorgeous.
I never talk to him, he just randomly texted me (got my number from someone) to tell me my new photo my stepsister put on facebook that I looked absolutely gorgeous. I didnt tell him no but I didnt say yes because I was uncomfortable and I'm like umm we will see( maybe try to make it a big group outing). I feel like it would be nice to go out with a guy who thinks I am nice and funny and actually wants to take me somewhere..but at the same time I feel that even if we went as friends alone I would see it as cheating. If I found out my H did that I would flip out or feel hurt. He is very sweet but also technically we are both married and I see this as horrible situation.
I have no guy friends so I dont know. I feel like right now the only guy friend and guy advice I need is you guys here like squiggy. I am lonely, I miss being wanted, I miss having a guy chase me and want me but that only man I want is my H. I asked my sister for advice. Hers was " the best way to get over a man is to get under another one." I figured you guys could give me advice on if Im being crazy.
At least today is NOT all talk about my H. I chit chatted this morning with him, kept it simple and quick.
Anyways there is my venting- morning journal for today
