NYGal: Still Trying to GAL

[NYGal]

I do see that, thanks Sotto and otw. I will NOT let myself be (too) vulnerable to her until she has told ow it's over for good. and then i will have to figure out how to make sure that has happened. I doubt ow will be interested in sticking around, but who knows? she doesn't want a scandal (and to have to come out as a newly minted lesbian). Or at least that's what I assume. Remember, she did not look happy when i saw her at the basketball game.

I also know I could be completely fooling myself. Just yesterday W said she's a lying cheating low life who can't function. Today she said she's coming out of it and doing better. I know she's not stable. I know this could all leave me reeling if there's a second BD. But friends, I do feel something has shifted.

She said something about having dinner next week. I said I won't be just her friend and she said, no, no, not to be friends, to talk about us getting back together. After she left and called back to make sure I'm ok because she "hated to see me walk away sad" I had composed myself and we were laughing a little and I said, let's get together tomorrow. I was challenging her sincerity about all this. She laughed a little and said, well, let me take care of a few things here. So we'll see.

I won't reach out first. She'll know that I'll assume she's with ow tomorrow night, and if that's the assumption she wants to leave me with then she'll have to live with the consequences. And I did say that not sleeping with ow would sure send a signal that they are over. It's as close as I could come to setting a boundary. So this is all a whole new ball of wax. She knows she's hurting me if she continues to sleep with ow, in case it wasn't obvious before. She knows I won't stand for it. So it's up to her. If she doesn't let her go, I'm gone.