What Action do I take?

[sandi2]

So I shared that info with my w when she got home. Weird. The guy is a jerk who has had previous affairs. Think it my have bursted her bubble on prince charming. Not out of the woods by any means but I've been telling her for a long time he's just out for a piece of ass. Think she's seeing that now. Hoping this is the wake up call she needs. Told her he'd try to lie his way out of it. We'll see if she buys it. She looks pissed tho and that's not good usually.

This ^^^^ right here is what will make it hard for her to turn back to you. Men talk about how stubborn their WW's are, but I call it pride. And whenever the LBH is walking around crowing like a rooster how right he was about the OM, he is chopping off his own head.

Told my wife if she leaves I'd be doing same thing. Lying to hot girls to get some action. I'm sure that impressed here. Beautiful part is I have a buddy who is leading on this girl for sex and it bugs my W. I said it's the same deal with u. She thinks she's in love too. Still a crappy deal for me but it was nice to have a little moment like this. Long way to go. Still need to know it's over before I can move forward.

How old are you? You are acting like you are in jr high. Stop this stupid behavior and start acting like you are a mature man.

Do I jump on this opening of her thinking he's a jerk? I'm sure he'll try to explain it all even though it's there in texts. Do I email her and remind her of the ways he has lied to her and other things about his character... Not feeling like the affair is wrong... Being willing to walk away from his kids... He's a real winner. Or do I stay with leaving her alone?

You already have jumped on it, and it didn't cause you to look particularly attractive.

I do feel like this is a key moment. If her fantasy land crumbles she might wake up. I don't want her to get sucked back in but I don't want to push her away.

I really believe that if after all she read and I told her his wife said... If she still tells me she loves this guy... I can't continue to try. I'm not doing anything now, but I will have to make a decision that is best for me.

Let me tell you something about your WW. I'm sure she is pizzed at OM, and her pride is suffering now, and if you continue to hammer away about this OM......she's going to start feeling sorry for the guy! Now, does that blow your mind efficiently or do I need to tell you more? STFU!

So what do I do... Nothing as I have been doing... basically being roommates living in different bedrooms. Do I start showing her some love? I guess it depends how she responds to any conversations she has with him today. I told her he would surely deny it and try to cover it up. If she buys his lies I will most likely be done. I don't see her buying it though as angry as she was.

Oh, you want to start showing some love? Like a little hugging, some cuddling, a kiss here & there....and who knows, you might even get lucky, now that she's mad at OM? I honestly hope you aren't thinking in that direction.

If having a bruised ego causes her to turn to you for physical affection, please be careful and don't have sex with her right away. I think the only reason she would even agree to have sex would be to spite OM. Her emotions are anything but stable at the moment, and I would hope that you want her to have sex with you b/c she desires you, and not for any other reason.

She may just want to be held and comforted b/c she's feeling the sting of rejection. If you want to do it, that's your business. Just don't believe that it has anything to do with the MR. It's still all about her. She's hurt and wants to be petted. A strong, mature minded man will remain calm and not take advantage of the temptation to pour salt into her wound. Neither will he act as if everything is fixed now that OM is out of the picture. (B/c he's not out, yet).

I don't think you should be trying to have a lot of conversations with her today. I mean, what do you want to say? She needs to let this sit with her a few days. Besides, she will contact OM again. You realize that, right?

You are acting on impulses and out of an emotional high. I suggest you remain calm and collected and not try to persuade her to do anything or agree to anything at the moment.

She has said she knows what she is doing is wrong but can't stop.

Okay, so if she couldn't stop when she knew it was wrong, why would she stop when she finds out OM is a jerk? The answer is b/c she is addicted.

But with so many days of pain and anger and sadness... I'm going to let part of me enjoy watching fantasy land burn down. I just hope it gets completely leveled. Maybe that makes me twisted but it's how I feel right now.

Careful, your halo is weighing you down there. Seriously, I get it. I just hope that you do, too. It would be easy to slip into a position of acting like her judge or maybe even a little bit self-righteous.