So, I think that I am slowly entering the anger stage. I have found another site similar to this and it has poisoned me. The posts and recommendations are in stark contrast to this site and has my brain running in circles. I have prayed on it and this method of DR'ing is the more godly approach with patience, sympathy, understanding and hope. The other site is prideful, recommends vengeance, and extremely harsh ways of confrontation and ultimatums. I heard her bring up to someone that I was "going out" on weekends but adamantly followed up with she didn't care at all. I feel like my GAL'ing might be working and that she was just trying to convince herself or brush it off by saying she didn't care. If she didn't care why would she bring it up?
She hasn't brought up D, custody, logistics etc. in two weeks and we have little to no actual contact/discussions. She is in love with this online creep and he is her sole thought, focus etc. She spends all day and night playing with, talking to etc. I want to / need to implement some type of boundaries and tough love to show her I will not tolerate this and am I NOT ok with the status quo as it is today or being Plan B as Squiggy put it. I see now that is what I am, except I don't even think I am plan B but rather just her STBXH in her mind. Struggling to figure out how to do this. I think that removing my support for her financially is the only route at this point, but know it is only going to expedite things with papers. I guess that is probably down the road at some point anyways though.
I am sad at the thought of our kids growing up in a broken home and the other realities that come from divorce, but I am honestly am starting to not care if she does serve me. I know that I have no control over her choices. I don't feel the same way when I look @ her anymore, I see physical faults (wrinkles, chubbiness, etc) and not the "rose colored glasses" that I had previously. It is also hard for me to remember the good times we shared. I feel like there just weren't that many. It has always been about her and what she wants with little compromise. I see her as a selfish, immature person. IS THIS NORMAL? Am I coming out of denial and into the anger stage? I want to keep fighting but wonder if these recent events just highlight the type of person she really is and her selfishness.
Any recommendations on links or books or something to read to refocus myself and remind myself what I am fighting for?
