Nel,
I'm sorry that you find yourself here.
In all honesty, you don't want your Husband back right now anyways. This is a long drawn out process and takes years to get through.
The very best thing you can do for yourself is to keep busy and detach from all of the BS.
If you ask questions you won't get the truth anyways so it's best not to go there. The way he perceives the truth is different from reality and you will only get bits and pieces anyway.
The OW is nothing. The novelty eventually wears off, but the more you interfere, the longer it will go on.
MLC'ers are like little children with new toys. They have tantrums and throw fits, yet they always seem to be looking back for their mother's approval. In this case, you are the mother.
(((hugs)))