I am mobile. Will try to summarise the session when at work. Basically yestrrday while watching TV, she asked me not to talk about the affair too much. I said fine as you are cutting contact. She said it wont solve our problem. Yes but a start I said. Said the same in session. How should I behave now?
Me: 43, W: 43 M: 16, T: 18 D - 7, D - 7 ILUB: 26 August 2014 Still living together
W mentioned mostly how my past of depression has made her a carer and that she didn't feel intimacy.Not something I haven't heard before but reasoning for a lasting marriage is a surprise. I felt humiliated. Ongoing complaint was me being selfish and not focusing on family. For my defenses (I didn't talk about it) I was trying to increase the income and I was pulled out of family mostly by saying you can't do it, criticism. As in sandi2's rule, would n't these be not fully true. I listened carefully to all of it.
I talked about the low intimacy of the relationship and how I had been critisiced. I said that the affair had also taken the energy away. I mentioned about despite my struggles to communicate, I was getting no response.
In a sense I had a relaxed time (at least talked about it). Though my W has a cold sore. That sore was one of the signs of stress which I was able to stop it from going for a year. She suddenly brought it out.
Please any comments. I will continue to give space but should I talk about the relationship and ask what she would like me to change? I had asked and changed but not enough for intimacy.
Me: 43, W: 43 M: 16, T: 18 D - 7, D - 7 ILUB: 26 August 2014 Still living together
