The start of my Happiness 3

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Tyler, first let me tell you that you are doing a WONDERFUL job with DBing. You have really taken to heart the DB process and are doing a great job with all of it. You are detaching, validating, GALing, acting as if, and basically moving on all while going to college and coparenting 4 small children. Not to mention, you're doing such a good job doing all of this during an emotionally devastating time. I am often frustrated in myself that I haven't been able to do any of this nearly as well as you have. You really should be proud of yourself.

With that being said, when I read your last post I could, unfortunately, relate to this question.

Is there a point where her feeling the loss is missed and becomes resentment or anger that I didn't pursue? W's pride will keep her from reaching out to me if and when she does think back and feel a need to address anything with me.

When I was 18 years old I was engaged. I eventually broke off that engagement. It was a long distance relationship & I wanted someone that I could see more than once every couple of months. When I broke it off, he was very nice and did the usual crying, begging, reasoning that we all do at BD. I can still remember his face, the exact words he said to me, the promises he made when he was bargaining. My XF NEVER, NOT ONE TIME, ever contacted me. I eventually married someone else. Eventually it did make me mad that he never called or wrote or anything. I mean, he claimed to love me but I always thought XF must not have cared that much about me because he never fought for me or our relationship. That man is my current H. It took him 18 YEARS to reach out to me!!! When I asked H why he never called, he said it was because he didn't think I wanted to talk to him. When I broke up with him, I did tell him not to call me, but he didn't even try. I wouldn't have been receptive to it right after breakup, but eventually I would have been and I would have loved to talk to him. If he had just called back then, we might have ended up marrying years ago before he had such hidden resentment towards me for leaving him. Could have saved us both a LOT of heartache.

Not sure exactly what you do with that information, I just wanted to let you know that it can and does happen. I wish I had some advice for you, but I don't know the best way to handle it. Hopefully one of the vets will give you some of their words of wisdom on how to make sure your W can find her way home if and when she's ready.

Are you all ready for your baby's first birthday party? Are you having the actual party at the indoor playground, or are you meeting family there to play and then going back to your house for cake and all that? I bet he's going to be so excited. I'm sure he will have a great time. You'll have to let us know how it goes.