B's Bootcamp v3

[Bfice3]

Fair enough. I was just reading your thread Thornton and you were saying how maybe your WAW just isn't right for you. And vanilla's messages about the scorpion. I mean, I definitely get the feeling that I'm being stung sometimes, but in my case I'm the one that is/has been the addict. Plus, I'm the super-codependent and my wife isn't. Long story short, I just keep feeling like it's wrong for me to simply let go of her. Logically it makes nothing but complete sense...but I still just feel like I shouldn't.

So, yeah. I'm heading back in to no contact mode. I'll keep updates periodically, and come in and journal.

A few little bits of what did happen today:

1.) D(15) started looking to schedule classes for junior year high school. She wants to take three electives: piano, chorus, theater 3. She's never played the piano, and she's never sung. Wife is a civil engineer and I'm an architect. We both value the sciences quite a bit. But our D(15) just really has never much of an aptitude for it. So, the WW apparently told my daughter that her electives were, in my daughter's words, "f'ing jerk off classes" and that my D(15) should drop at least two of them. Of course D(15) was crying when she told me this.

I talked to her for a good long while and I think I made her feel better. Not about what my WW said really, because I can't fix that. (It was funny though because D said, "It's just that everything and every opinion I have she just says things that are so hurtful." and I had to just nod and say, "I know, she does it to me too.") But anyway, I told D that I wanted her to be happy but that being happy isn't always about doing what's easy. Told her to listen to the voice in her head. Said right now I want to go buy a whole cheesecake and eat it, but I know that's the right thing to do. Listen to your voice in your head. And make choices in life that will keep as many doors open for you as long as you can. (I think I did just a tiny bit better than my wife...but who knows)

2.) While on the phone with D(15) WW asked to speak with S(9). Apparently she is talking to him about a girl in his class who is in a divorced family and WW told S(9) he can talk to this girl if he likes. I agree 100% with the talking and communication, but I am somewhat concerned about where my wife is coming from in this.

Then about an hour later, somehow, seemingly out of the blue, S(9) mentions that WW said her last name was her maiden name the other night at home. Both of the girls said they didn't remember that, so perhaps I'm making mountains out of mole-hills. But at either rate, its all completely out of my control.



So....

Yes. ZERO pursuit. Focus on me. Focus on the kids. Focus on work, studying, and recovery.