When the goal is positivity

[JulieH]

i have to admit, i am kind of lost in this.

How are you going to give an ultimatum regarding either working on marriage or get a divorce? If the SO has not shown real interest in reconciling then and if you truly don't eat to get divorced then why do this???

Because you feel you are in limbo? if i am pulling info correctly this happened in July, correct?

Why are we assuming that the SO timeframe is on our timeframe? Because we are tired of dealing with it? Ok, but why not just go about living our lives the way we want just like they are?

I am hoping it is not to get a response and then maybe back fire in your face.

I feel just as much can be accomplished without this path.

Live your life!

please let me know if i am way off here

OTW:

First husband left with stated goal of reconciliation. I pursued did everything wrong. In early fall, I asked husband if he wanted reconciliation still. He said he could not reconcile. At that point while devastated, I moved on. I also filed for child support (something I had asked for twice and led to fights and then wanted to avoid fights by asking again). He received petition and asked to have talk with me. It was during this talk that he said he wanted for us to work on reconciliation. I asked him if it was do to financials and he denied. At court we had argument regarding financial during argument we were talking about what we needed to do to afford to live together. After court husband was furious with me regarding filing and did not bring up reconciliation. I let it go. He started asking to go places with me and kids. I asked about plans regarding reconcilaition and he became furious and started yelling about how I took him to court, I told him I took him to court after he told me he didn't want to reconcile, he told me he said that cause he was pushed and it was based on emotions and he could change his mind just like I always did. He said he didn't want to give me answer based on emotion and would have face to face meeting with me where we could discuss divorce vs reconciliation. That's upcoming.