As far as your mother watching the kids, this is what I would do, I would ask your mother to please not bad mouth your wife to the kids. That would not be fair to the kids, I would ask your wife to trust you and your mother will taking good care of the kids. I think there's nothing wrong with the the kids hang out with their grandmother. As you said, your still married and bad mouthing your wife makes everyone's live harder and gets you nothing.
As far as you lady friends go I would remind you that just because you plow the field doesn't mean you have to plant the seed.
