Basically I called my husband out on him giving me mixed messages regarding recomciliation. Why? Because I am horrible at divorce busting and have no patience and because my personality does not handle limbo very well.
So we agreed to have discussion in person exploring the pros and cons of each and mapping out a plan. (I would not be willing to map out a plan regarding divorce unless I spoke with attorney. He is obviously afraid of what type of demands I make and understandably wants no surprises).
I am hoping he has a decision as to what he wants to do. I am not going to give ultimatum, but decison can't be endless either. It's not fair to me. I will tell him i am willing to work on reconciliation and I hope he is too, but if he is unable to do so, I will be able to survive.
So the way I will prepare. ( be prepared for my future posts agonizing over this )
1. Pros/ cons of divorce 2. Reconciliation...major question for me is do you make demands? Is it fair for him to demand that I get 2nd job? Jellyb mad brilliant point that reconciliation is typically more about connecting, communicating, and validating. This makes sense to me. The demands sound like a way to control. I find them to be a narrow line between boundaries. What would reconciliation entail? Date night once a week? Does that become a demand? 3. Find list of counselors 4. I will try not to voice any of my complaints. I have to remember I can't get through to him anyhow. I will just complain here. 5. I will do more listening then anything. ask questions to clarify 6. He mentioned recording and putting things in writing so there is no confusion, and we can go back and listen.
Any other suggestions?
Me: 42 H: 43 Twins age 5 Physically Separated 7/2015
