I'm so sorry for your situation. I'm envious of the inner strength you've been able to develop after 9 months of dealing with this. I hope I get there some day. My opinion, for whatever that is worth, is that she is cake eating and you need to put an end to that now. Cut her off. She is using you to live the lifestyle that she wants and that life doesn't include you. You've used this time to better yourself and to build the strength you need to do what needs to be done. Send her packing.
Me: 48 y/o W: 47 y/o Together: > 20 yrs BD: Dec '15, then S 2nd BD: Mar '16, then I filed for D April '16: started piecing
