I have a similar view on forgiveness to your WH. Until the sinner seeks forgiveness there is no requirement to forgive. Those who seek forgiveness accept atonement. It is our higher power who has the need to forgive. It is the Sinners own relationship to their higher power which is their responsibility.
If I were WH then if I knew you had spiked with the Bishop I would be very angry with you. It's like blowing the whistle on an A, ineffective at best and damaging to your R at worst. Seek counsel and guidance for you from the bishop.
We do not have to forgive the unforgivable, nor do we have to forgive those who ask for forgiveness. Faux forgiveness makes us feel worse as we know it's faux and inauthentic. society or new age thinking tells us forgiveness resolves everything, only authentic forgiveness resolves and requires many steps. Twelve in fact, it isn't a shortcut to serenity.
Forgiveness is very special and it is for ourselves to ask and to make atonement when that is required by the higher spirit. It is not for others to judge our hearts, the courts may judge our legal and not moral sin, there Is justice but not always compassion or mercy in fair judgement. There can be retribution.
Porn of various sorts is illegal criminal and damaging. Some of it is fake, ridiculous and humorous. Addiction to it is harmful in many ways. Much of it is amateur and free. I confess I don't get it, I am not addicted. I don't get gambling, alcohol, smoking, drugs or chocolate cake excess.
There are the seven deadly sins:
Lust – to have an intense desire or need: “But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matthew 5:28). I would include porn and girlie bars
Gluttony – excess in eating and drinking: “for drunkards and gluttons become poor, and drowsiness clothes them in rags” (Proverbs 23:21). I would include alcohol and drugs.
Greed - excessive or reprehensible acquisitiveness: “Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, with a continual lust for more” (Ephesians 4:19). I would include gambling and compulsive spending in this.
Laziness – disinclined to activity or exertion: not energetic or vigorous: “The way of the sluggard is blocked with thorns, but the path of the upright is a highway” (Proverbs 15:19). I would include tv and Internet compulsions.
Wrath – strong vengeful anger or indignation: “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (Proverbs 15:1) lets have rants and spews in this. It is more than anger.
Envy – painful or resentful awareness of an advantage enjoyed by another joined with a desire to possess the same advantage: “Therefore, rid yourselves of all malice and all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander of every kind. Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation” (1 Peter 2:1-2). Let's have EAs with those with spouses
Pride - quality or state of being proud – inordinate self esteem: “Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall” (Proverbs 16:18). Let's include the codependent and the righteous. I am a sinner I get to number 7 sin and I think I am free and clear and I sin because I judge my WH for his compulsions. I am proud I have no compulsions!
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Let those without sin cast the first stone.
If the higher power can forgive when the sinner requests that is enough for me.
Breaking the laws of man results in punishment and withdrawal of freedom. No asking for forgiveness will change that. Is another harmed? then if so the laws of man will judge. There will be judgement and punishment of the guilty.
The higher power offers resolution or forgiveness if the sinner requests, desists and atones. It has its own way and that is not for me to say. I only know it is not my role to judge in the court of man or as the higher power. It is not my role to forgive if I am lucky then that gift may be given to me on my request.
I can chose forgiveness for me and ask for my own sins to be forgiven. In twelve steps we atone and ask for our defects to be removed. They are our own defects that ask to be removed not those of our compulsives. Forgiveness is for us.
If we can open our hearts to forgiveness then the higher power may allow it.
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
