I'm going to try to make sure I focus on what makes me feel good/happy first, and THEN observe how my wife reacts. It's far to easy right now for me to shift the focus entirely back to my Wife. Not only could that scare her off, but it would defeat the personal growth I've achieved by DBing.
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One thing I'm sure about - this whole experience has taught me to never take a relationship for granted, and that constant work is required for relationships to succeed.
These are great insights, Sci. I seriously love the detachment and ownership contained therein. Whether or not your MR goes the whole way to fully R, you have, without a single doubt in my mind, achieved much personal growth. Any woman would be a fool to pass you up.
Much like our equally insightful Tex, I went through those same stages when getting ready for Piecing. So many questions and doubts flooded my mind. For me it was the realization that I did not need my wife. I wanted her, and through that I found the strength to keep moving forward. It's a long road, my friend, and you can make the trek.
If you want help with communication, outside of books, I can give some ideas that I can pull from my career as a therapist, things I learned through my DBing experience, and my experience going through Retrouvaille. Zero doubt others are willing to as well. Just give me the word.
Fo.2 - I approve of that statement as someone in the field (I do the same!)
M: 8.5 T:10 Me:37 W:34 S:6
Retrouvaille and W moves back- 7/31/15 Piecing - 7/4/15 to present
(I do the same!)