Ok Red, you did your Inspector Gadget job. Now put it to rest. No signs, then no crazy.
All you can do is to have your eyes and ears open and if something smell fishy again, then you can put your Inspector Gadget suit and go for it.
Sorry, just teasing you because I found my XH in a hotel. The way I found it? I found a charge on his CC done at about 2 -3am. Yes, I was that sick. I knew something was going down and I wouldn't sleep. I was all the time checking on everything.
The I found it. Went to that hotel in the morning and made sure he knew I was there and saw him. I did not make a big scene. I was calm and did nothing to be ashamed of.
Red, I still don't understand why you are so convinced that this is so "finito". It sounds to me sometimes that your H is taking some time to think things over. And there you are, thinking about all the worse scenarios.
I understand that he wants a separation, but he is the one that said that he wants to take it slow and get the D in 6 months.
Use this time to show him that life beside you is not a hell. That life with you can be fun and enjoyable. Why is this confrontation about D5 saying something and then a name came forward and then he is already apologizing for all what he did or didn't do?
Red, I understand it is frustrating, that you need to know in case he is cheating on you. But you need to focus in a bigger prize here. You need to have goals and not show all this panic attack in front of him.
That's why it is important to have other things to do. Because you get busy and you become attractive. You are strong for being independent. You are beautiful for taking good care after yourself. You are amazing for dealing with all the s**t and hell he is giving you and it seems like life is a playground.
Stop today. Give yourself a break in this whole "OW" stuff. Think about what you want. You did not lose him yet, but I am afraid you are losing yourself in a way.
Find the way to center all that attention on yourself. How are the nails today? Are the kids feeling good? Monday is president's day and most schools have a day off. Can you go somewhere with your kids for the weekend?
Just the three of you to have some fun somewhere. Disconnect from all of this. Have some fun with the kids. I am saying this because I did this.
Get yourself busy and let go on the H for now. I am not saying forget him, just let go for a little bit. Enjoy some mom time and go with it.
Yeah, it is not like your head will suddenly be empty and you won't think about your sitch, but you will have also some time to relax and think quiet. Besides giving him something to think about and miss.
Look at yourself and find out what you need to feel better today, and then do it.
