I don't think you are nuts at all. You can only carry the load so long and then it gets too heavy to continue. Marriage does take two to make it work successfully. I also know where you are coming from w/the rose colored glasses! Been there and done that one too.

Be kind to yourself, learn to take some time for yourself and do something that you normally wouldn't do for YOU. YOU owe it to yourself!

Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.