WAW online EA and maybe MLC

[Squiggy]

I'm going to tell you that I have an issue with the money. Keep in mind this is not telling you what to do, but my own opinion. You are enabling her with the money at this point. To let you know I understand where you are, I paid for our joint car insurance and cell phone bills even after W moved out. However, it was only to ensure I could maintain contact with S6 and that he was in an insured car. But after I filed I began to cut those bills off as well.

In your case she left of her own will and moved to where her basic necessities are provided for. Paying for her going out with her friends is not going to draw her closer. Welcome to being Plan B that still pays for her EA. My opinion would be to determine what is absolutely minimum needed to give to her for the sake of your children, and then the rest is up to her. That's what divorce looks like! Good place to put a boundary.

If a 180 is to encourage her to go after that job, then I would. KISS (Keep It Simple, Stupid) and validate. Not much more beyond that or you are pursuing. On the other hand, going out of your way to find other jobs for her is like fixing it AND enabling her. Let her experience the consequences of reaching beyond her skillset and doing things on her own.

Goals
I like these as a start. They are more centered on you and what you can control, which is???

180s
1. Very nice with good examples.
2. I will keep the house organized and clean.
-Do this for yourself. I have not yet met a woman that likes a messy/dirty man. Drop the W reference.
3. Grats! Make your muscles hurt and rock that tank top!
-Added benefit: Endorphin release. Love those things.
4. I will not pursue.
-In your case, what does that specifically look like?

You registered not too long ago and are just now beginning your first steps. Gotta get over the shock and clear your head before truly making headway (I beat my head against a wall for quite a while). These are a great start, and we'll keep adding them as you go. Focus on what is immediately achievable and build from there.