Long time don't write to you. I guess we are again in the same situation. And I guess we are getting very weary for not being loved.
I know how hard it is to raise kids. It is a no stop job and there are challenges on the psychological side that has been so much affected by the sitch and by ours spouses behaviors.
I feel in between the lines you wrote that you would like your W to just spill it out that she regret what she did and would like to work with you on a new R, but keep a family that was built so long time ago.
I am so sorry you find yourself in this situation RD, as well I feel sorry for my family that we are in this mess too. I know you value your family and sacrifice a lot for them. It's just so unfortunately that our spouses can't be less selfish and think about what is really matter.
V is right, we all would like to hear that you made some space for yourself and had some kind of fun. Like a class, meditation, martial arts, dance instructions, swimming, whatever RD. It does not need to be related to any other person, but it would be for you.
I am giving myself a chance to interact with other people in a health way. I sure do not want any R with anyone right now. I know I am 100% not ready for that. But I feel better that I am giving the chance to meet new people and go out with them.
I hope your kids are good and not overwhelmed with so much studies right now. How is D14 (15) doing?
RD, and V is right too that I would like to meet you one day. Not sure about the confetti on motor bikes, but it would be really enjoyable to meet you and have that chat along with a cold beer.
I guess we need to start a silly party around here again, we have been too quite and it is not fun. What about helping me with some recipes? I am a bad chef, my kids are complaining that sometimes my steaks tastes and feels like rubber.
I tend to hate the fact that it takes two or three hours to prepare a good meal, and it takes about 15min for the dinosaurs to eat it all. The I am left with the dirty dishes.
It seems like we can eat everything that we don't cook, we just peel. It is not much work and is better for you. Well, but the monsters in my house need protein, and they are always hungry.
Anything to share?
RD, I am pretty busy and do not write much these days, but I think about you often. I always tough we have a similar situation even tough it is also different. I just think about what your days are like comparing it to my days.
Sometimes it feels good, everything works and there is a sense of peace inside my heart. Some other times it feels very conflicted, I lose control of my emotions and have that horrible pain inside of me that seems not to go away very easy.
Some other times I would like to just stop, just have a break and rest, but I know it is impossible. I am the responsible parent and I am the only one to hang in there for my kids.
So easy for some people to think they are doing their best and yet they are taking care after themselves first and letting go on the ones that they are suppose to love unconditionally.
Lately, when someone says that I need to do this or that for myself, I just say that I am doing what I can, what I want and I know where my shoe hurts me. No one is doing it for me, I am the one to stand up every day and keep the fight, keep moving forward, sideways, you name it.
I could write forever. But I need to get back to work. By the way, just got another text from my idiot XH. What the hell uhn? Hope you are having a good day RD.
Funny, but my kids just asked me about you yesterday.
I will email you later, also would like to know if it would be possible to call you even tough we have the 7 hours different what is a hassle with our schedules.
How is the winter going? We had a big storm last week and still have some snow on the ground. Looking forward to have a lovely spring. When is a good time to visit Ireland RD? My kids start summer vacations at the end of may, so from there to sometime beginning of august, it would be a good time for me to adventure my visit.
Let me know lovely RD, From the Diabo Anjo... Cira
