Ya. She gets that it's part of a grieving process and adjustment. I think it's more that I don't think of everything as a way for her to just be in contact that at times it's just to fill me in.
The person that you will spend the most time with in your life is yourself, so make yourself as interesting as possible.
As far as detaching to trick her. That is not my case at all. It is for me, as far as I know W is oblivious to any changes I have made. She is far to self absorbed right now and it has started to clear up the rose coloured glasses I have been wearing.
The person that you will spend the most time with in your life is yourself, so make yourself as interesting as possible.
I'm not saying I don't still love W. I do. I have realized I had her on a pedestal and am taking her down.
thats a great observation. I still love my wife as well but she is no longer on a pedestal either. I now see that detachment enables things to be done free of emotions
You're doing fine, Tyler. I think you're doing well, anyways.
The detach is the hardest part for any of us. The range of emotions you go through on the daily is something every person on the board can relate to, I promise you that.
I remember my S6 telling me that the way I made oatmeal was not "as good as mom's." I told him "I'm sorry buddy, I wish I could make it the way she does." I then went to the backyard and cried... over oatmeal...
It seems so silly to me now but at the time I felt like the biggest failure in the world.
WW are funny creatures. I talked to S3 last night and after W got on the phone and told me about her day and how boys are doing. She asked about Saturday and if i was getting older 2 before meeting her. I said yes is that a problem? She said no. Just thinking that we could meet Friday night for the boys. I said sorry I have plans. Which I do.
She mentioned she was taking Friday off work, which is fine I don't care and I didn't ask. But when I mentioned that on Saturday at S1 party that she was welcome to stay if she wanted to, she replied it would be confusing for the kids and she had to work Saturday.
I simply said its too bad she has to work because it will be a fun time. She then said she can't give up work right now it's kind of crucial to get hours. I replied yes I understand, I am looking forward to getting back to work soon too.
After that I realized. So you have to work Saturday because it's crucial right now but your taking Friday off? Where is the logic in that? I guess she has something important to do.
Either way I am going to have a blast with the kids and if she stays and enjoys it too that's nice. If not, no sweat off my back.
The person that you will spend the most time with in your life is yourself, so make yourself as interesting as possible.
Tyler trying to make logical sense out of what they do and say is a waste of time. I spent many days doing it and still do. You will drive yourself crazy!
M 37 W 34
T 12 M 8 D 7 S 4
Need break 4/12/15 W no ring 7/7/15
Separate room 4/12/15 Separate living suggested 8/15 W moved out 11/1/15
I totally agree Otw. And I'm not trying to figure out her thought process. Because it's all over the pkace.
The last few days while good days have been sprinkled with sadness of W. Questioning the process and wanting to reach out. The good news is that I am finding it fewer and further between, shorter and able to switch my mind to something else.
The hurt is still fresh sometimes and I find myself thinking of te future too much. Especially a future involving her. I stop myself and remember it has been a short period. 4 months since bday and 4 weeks since she moved out. It seems like so long am so short of a time at the same time.
The person that you will spend the most time with in your life is yourself, so make yourself as interesting as possible.
