Divorce Papers

[TimR]

Well goal one failed today as I had nightmares of finding out about OMs all night, just kept waking up. I know that hurt is going to be there for quite sometime, if it ever leaves.

I am doing well focusing on the youngest and keeping it up. Every night we text and I always tell him goodnight and I love him. The older one is harder as I am rather sure he has been poisoned against me. He really will not talk to me, except if he wants money or a ride and mom wont give it to him. I guess right now just being there when he needs me is the best thing I can do.

The last two. I worked hard at practice last night. Kind of at a plateau for weight loss, but 20+ pounds is still good. I want to reach 165 so that is a new goal. And I am wearing newly purchased clothes today. Also after counseling I am going to get a trim.

Yesterday she text about taxes. Despite her saying I am controlling she refused to pick a tax preparer or schedule the appointment but told me to. So I did. She then called after she was done working. I ignored the call. A few hours later text saying, must have missed your call. She text she would call but then text never mind. I did not respond to either text.

When I stopped home yesterday to change for practice, there was a water shut off notice on the door. She only had two bills to pay but apparently ignored them. I do not want to be an enabler but I did go pay the bill without telling her. I cant go back home to no water and more importantly, I can not have the boys living with no water. So I do not think this interferes with my 180s.

Got a text today that the OM has changed his relationship status to single on FB. Also that her mom stopped following him on Pintrest. While I am hopeful, I need to keep moving on and detaching.

Finally, I still have not decided about the rings tonight and whether to just let her have whatever refund we may get. I am at a loss with regard to this. I HAVE decided to act as if tonight and am working of looking good and being in a good mood to meet. I guess I have to consider all the scenarios that could happen, will I get yelled at and will she try to drag me into a fight? Will she be nice and considerate? Hell she could even invite me to dinner? I am thinking how to prepare for each scenario. Any advice???