Wow, I had forgotten about my intro thread. Sorry I've been neglecting it. I don't neglect the site. I read so many threads where people are at some of the same points I went through on my timeline through all this. I do love my wife. Is everything all better and all rainbows now? Of course not. We still have issues with each other but the difference is we don't let anything go unaddressed. We do communicate much better.
Also, if you reconcile with a wayward spouse then you have to really forgive and forget. You have to. Don't ever bring up the affair. Don't hold it over them. In the long run their own guilt tortures their heart as much as the betrayal tortured yours. That's if they are truly remorseful and still love you.
I also see so many asking how long they have to wait before they cut their losses and move on? Some have only been living this type of nightmare for a few weeks or months. It could take years. You have to know that. My wife's MLC, and all the horrible behavior that came with it, went on for 2+ years. It was hell for me. It wasn't until I gave up on us that it cleared her mind. She still tells me it was like being struck with a bolt of lightening and suddenly all the stupidity left her brain (her words not mine).
To get through things with some humor, when the cancer prognosis came in she was like "oh great, we just start to recover from my stupidity and now God is going to kill me as punishment for what I did." I told her I don't think God works that way.
Some days I think if I could go back in time I might have just walked out on that fateful March day. I'd be lying if I said I didn't have those thoughts occasionally. Still, life is pretty good right now. We go for walks, we hold hands, and this year is our 30th anniversary. We've made it through all this so I think we'll be ok. I tell her all the time that if I die first that the last thing I want my eyes to gaze upon before I leave this life is her face.
I don't want to sound like a sappy pep talk here but you really can get through whatever you're going through that brought you here. I went through the worst experience of my life for over 2 years but here we are together and happy. It can happen for you too but you have to accept that it might not. Either way, you'll be fine.
