This whole thing has moved so quickly my mind is still spinning! I feel like I'm coming to terms with it, reluctantly. I do know that I'd rather be on my own, if the alternative is being with this new version who shrinks away from me if I get too close, who regularly attacks me with words, and who demeans me every chance he gets.
I'm so tired of hearing that I'm the reason his life didn't work out the way he hoped. That being married to me is the reason he didn't achieve all his goals - that I ruined his life. That is typical MLC talk - but it doesn't make it hurt any less. I hope one day he's able to see all the good I brought into his life...and I brought a lot. Right now? He sees none of it, only the bad. He's got a scorecard I never even thought about keeping.
So, my new life is opening up...I just have to put on my big-girl boots and meet it boldly. I'm doing the best I can.
Ancaire, you are so brave and strong! I am so glad that you were able to secure a future. Take good care of yourself.
I think what you're experiencing is still the affair fog (you're right, this has gone very quickly!), and the blame that he *has* to put on you in order to live with what he has done. If it's not your fault, if you didn't cause this, then it would be his responsibility, and that would be hard to live with for him.
Keep us updated and stay safe.
M 16 yrs, WH62, P54 3 adult blended kids EA 11/13, BD1 6/14 PA fall 14, BD2 2/15 Piecing 2015, BD3 12/15 Separated 4/16 WH moved OW in 5/16 Divorced 6/15/17
ancaire as i was reading that long paragraph a lot of that reflected back to my situation. Everything is so fast , it's unbelievable. Everything is blamed on you. You didnt even know he/she was keeping a scoreboard. You know why we dont keep scoreboards? because we actually offered true unconditional love. Stay strong ancaire. I am too in the final stages of this mess. I have my main court that will decide everything this feb25 and yes it's scary. You are a strong woman and im glad you are doing good!
Ancaire...I'm happy to see you're back. And it's wonderful that you got a good settlement. I'm sorry you're sad about your old life with H being over. But you sound strong and positive about your new life. Hugs to you. You really are amazing.
Rain
Rain (moi): 40 Ex Fiance: 39 3 kids On/off again EA & PA Last BD by ow 12/15 Moved kids and myself back into our own place: 12/15
I'm still on the silent side, and will continue to need to be for the next week. I'm moving!!! Into my own apartment!!!
I'm really, really happy about it. One of my daughters helped me find it - I'm only about 2 blocks away from her. She's got all kinds of plans for the future that involve me. LOL
Thanks to the settlement, I've got the funds I needed to move. As soon as I could - I got right on that, and found a place the first day I went out looking - and it's perfect for what I need right now!
I've been doing some online job interviews and taking assessment tests online as well. I'm going to lay off the job hunt for now, until I finish the move (ugh! so much to do!) - but so far, so good. It cracks me up that employers pre-screen their applicants by making them take online tests these days - but it does seem like a good idea.
One job that I really do want sent me an e-mail today letting me know I scored exceptionally well on their test, and that I will be hearing from the management staff soon. I'm excited about that.
It looks like things are on the upswing now! I am so happy to be moving forward, finally.
So, please bear with me for one more week, while I finish packing, moving, and unpacking. LOL This is a good silence! I'm thrilled to be in my own place, and I LOVE the place I found. AND!!!! I get to decorate however I want!!! I can do a totally girlie look. LOL
I had to go to court again today, only to be rescheduled again for next month. Sigh. I'm ready for this to be over, but it's taking forever. I do know they've downgraded it, for certain, to a much less serious crime at the very least. My L is still working on getting a dismissal. We'll just have to wait and see.
I'm happy, guys. As happy as I can be under the circumstances. Once I was ready to move on, everything just started falling into place! Life is starting to look good again. Of course, H is out of town....LOL That might have a LOT to do with why I'm so happy, which makes it even more clear that it's time for me to go. I'm solidly in the here and now, and enjoying this new adventure as much as I can.
Judy, you sound like you're doing great! I'm so glad that you're excited about your move and that you get to be so close to your daughter. That's awesome! I'm also so glad to hear that they have at least lowered the charges. I'm crossing my fingers and praying for a dismissal. You've been through enough! Take your time getting settled in so you're sure you get your apartment JUST RIGHT! . Can't wait to see you back on this list telling us how great you're doing. Take care!!!
M:45 H:48 M:11 No kids BD:Sept'15 EA:Confirmed 1wk later PA: Oct'15 12 '15 2 wk R Just kidding, H wants NC 12 '15 H back w/OW 4 '15 R &still working on it
. Can't wait to see you back on this list telling us how great you're doing. Take care!!!