I have a meeting this afternoon with the head of my boys school ( also stbxw's boss) and they are hoping to try and give some mediation as to why I am being denied access. I am hopeful. Got some money from a private job I did so went and bought Star Wars and Spiderman duvet covers and new duvets for my boys. Their old room now looks like their old room. Made me cry an awful lot but I am glad I did it. I also replaced most of the bulbs that she took so it's now looking brighter at least. Small steps. I got to thinking about all the comments. I know I have faults but the difficulty for me is knowing which of mine are genuine as everything in the past has been my fault anyway. I look in the mirror and like and respect who I am as a man. I have reflected back alot these last few hours and I honestly don't believe I was loved. Not truly. we've rubbed along together quite nicely. It makes me sad but it is also something I kinda knew. Buying and doing up the house, having the rounds of IVF, bringing up the boys were all distractions and I know inside I have been fighting for love, fighting to be valued. It's just not worked out that way with her. It reminded me of an old saying. Don't choose someone you can live with for the rest of your life, chose someone you can't live without. Will see what the meeting at school produces later.
me45,W43 S9,S5 T15yrs M10yrs BD 4/07/15 W wants D 4/07/15 W filed 8/05/15 D petition arrived 21/12/15 Merry xmas, W,S5 S9 moved out 5/2/16
